Monthly Archives

December 2010

Christmas is Over, We’re Done With Santa, When do I get My Nap?

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As you can imagine, the past few days have been busy. My basement is now a flood of toys, the kids are as hyper as ever and there’s so much junk food in my house I could start a used candy store. I don’t have enough room in my garbage can to throw away all the garbage that I have. I’ve done enough shopping over the past few weeks that I don’t feel a need to go out any more – at least not for a long time. Today is Sunday, the last Sunday of the year. It’s also my last 9am church session for 2 years (unless we move). I got a video of Gabe with his new toy while it destroys his other new toy.

Moving isn’t in our near future, but I would really like to be closer to my work. My commute is 45 minutes on a good day. With winter here, the commute is longer most days. The construction doesn’t help either. Living in Lehi sounds nice. I just need the funds to get a home that Natalie would approve of. Where I live is nice though. Our neighbors are fantastic, the kids have plenty of good friends and I have a Home Depot right down the street (not to mention an In and Out Burgers).

I’ve noticed over the last few months that I’m fairly cynical. I didn’t used to be this way and I’m not sure what caused the change from my old self, but I’m not thrilled with the new side of me. Every time I make an active attempt to be more positive I can only hold it for a short time before somebody (typically the kids) do something that sets me off again. I’m much more stable when I’m constantly annoyed with everything around me.

On a more positive note, I’ve found audio books to be amazing tools to relieve the stress of I-15. I’ve listened to a small library now and the time really goes by much faster than it seemed to when I was just listening to the radio. My current books are the Percy Jackson series. It’s just a fun set of books that bring to light the Greek gods and their demigod children. The story is another one of those things that I wish I had thought of, but didn’t, and now it’s too late to do it because someone else did. Even if I had thought of it, I wouldn’t know what to do with it.

To sum this up, I see hope in the future for the boys and my family. I would love to take my girls on a trip to the redwoods in California in the spring. I’m excited to go camping this year. I am more positive than I show, but if you were to speak with me you wouldn’t see it.

Christmas is coming, Stress is rising, Something Has To Snap

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You know the feeling you get when everything feels like it’s crushing down on you? That’s me for the past few weeks. Something has to happen soon, or rather something will happen soon. I’m in a bad position though, I don’t know what the reason for this overwhelming pressure is. I know that I can’t seem to get organized at work, the kids prevent my home from being organized, traffic lacks all forms of organization… I think I’m starting to see a pattern here. I’m surrounded by chaos and I have no control to change it.

I see people all around me who have the ability to control their existence. How do they do it? Could I be wrong, could they be faking it? If so, I’m not sure I could fabricate an attitude of tenacity the way I’ve seen from others. I tend to say what’s on my mind, sometimes to my trepidation, other times it turns into something awesome.

I used to have a filter on what I said, then I got a job at a print shop with a guy named Rich. Rich had no filter, he had no pride either. At least not the kind of pride that keeps you from telling anybody walking by about your recent experience in the bathroom. I spent 7 years at a print press with Rich no less than 3 feet away from me. I suspect he rubbed off on me. I’ve had other amazing friends, 1 of which became my wife, who I know for a fact have helped me to stop thinking so much about what I say before it gets out.

This hasn’t worked out so well for my wife when it comes to the in-laws or for my employment – or maybe it has. I still have a job and a large portion of my job is speaking with already upset clients. I have managed to calm almost every fire that comes my way. Perhaps speaking the truth has a calming effect.

That’s all irrelevant, but I’ve already typed it up so I’m not deleting it. I’ll return to the reason for this overwhelming crushing feeling I’ve had lately. My employer is doing things that could be considered unethical if not illegal, but I don’t believe they have the ability to do anything else. We still have the boys and all signs indicate we’ll have them for longer than we agreed to have them. The boys are starting to get attached to us, which I really didn’t want to happen. They need to think of their parents as ‘mom and dad’, not Natalie and I. I try to think of myself at that age. Unfortunately all I see of myself was that I was a perfect kid. I suspect that wasn’t the case, but since nobody has said otherwise that’s what I’m going to assume.

I like organization. You wouldn’t guess it by looking at my home but if you give me 8 hours alone with my music blasting I’ll clean the entire home and organize everything so well Martha Stewart would be jealous. I don’t mean the kind of organization where you move things around so they fit nicely in their place either. When I organize I trash everything that has no function or purpose. I’ll even throw away stuff that I’m still using if it bothers me. If I was given the option I would throw out my couches, most the kids toys, most my clothes (and Natalie’s clothes), and so much more.

My home is chaotic. Three extra boys in an already small home is enough to drive anybody mad. Winter didn’t help. Everyone would at least go outside in the summer and we could keep some of the house clean. Not now though, the kids throw everything anywhere. Like me, Aubrie was born with a disposition towards organization. She will sort out the change she has from her piggy bank, she sorts her M&M’s into colours, she sorts out her toys. Sadly, she likes to collect all her toys together in the middle of our front room and organize everything there.

I really don’t stand a chance of having my home clean again for a long time. I wish I could just let it go and not care, but it’s in my nature to want a clean home. Sadly, it’s futile to try to clean it. The kids will mess it up immedietely. Logically, I have no choice but to just sit back and let whatever happens, happen. I’ll put my trust in God as I usually do (sometimes I forget and actually think that I can do amazing things on my own) and hope for the best. So far, this plan has worked out well, but lately it’s getting a bit too close to going over the edge for my comfort. I guess it’s times like these that really test your faith as well as patience. I suspect I’ll get through it all, maybe I’ll even be a better person for it.

Weight Watchers and a Dance Performance!

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I’ll preface this post by stating that not much of interest has happened this past week. However, I did get a few ads from Weight Watchers telling me that I should start their new Point Plus Program. They have a new weight loss program called Weight Watchers Points Plus Program that seems to be  a more balanced way to run the diet. Since I was impressed with the success of their last program and and I’ve been gaining weight since I canceled (thinking that I could do it with out them) I chose to take Weight Watchers up on their offer. So far, I’ve not seen any improvements, but then it’s only been 3 days. My only problem with the plan is that it wants me to diet and exercise. Why do all these radical weight loss programs involve diet and exercise? I just want a pill to do the work for me. I asked a friend who is graduating as a pharmacist (an odd choice for a profession I think, but at least she knows what she wants) what pill I could take for weight loss, she recommended one and said that it should help to lose about 10 pounds a year. I can lose 10 pounds in 2 months if I really try, and that’s with no pills. Now I have to find a way to fit exercise in with my diet and I should be back on track in as little as 4 months – which is just in time for the Salt Lake 5K run that I’ve been doing for the past 5-6 years.

Aubrey at the Equestrian Center Dance Performance

Aubrey at the Equestrian Center Dance Performance

Last night and today my girls went to a dance performance at the Equestrian Center in South Jordan. There was a boutique going on and my girls were part of the entertainment. I have video of it that I’ll post later. My phone doesn’t take the right video types, but I can upload them to FaceBook, which I think I’ll do in a bit.

There wasn’t a lot of other stuff going on at the boutique so I’m pretty sure they bring the dancers in so that the parents have to come to shop around. It worked also, my wife bought some book and I signed up for another spam email. There was a marble toy that I wanted, but the boys would destroy it. They had a decent remote control car that the boys would love… and they would destroy that also. For Christmas the boys will be getting some nice gifts which will be nice for about 1 week then they’ll be partially borked. The following month will finish the toys off. As bad as it sounds I see no reason to spend any money on the boys unless it’s to buy them building blocks. I had Lincoln Logs when I was a kid and I had a fun enough time with them, and they don’t break easily. They just make a mess but it can be cleaned up quickly. All you child rights people can relax, the boys will be well taken care of this year, my wife and wallet has made sure of that.

They boys will get to see their mother this weekend. I’m taking this as a good sign. Hopefully they’re almost ready to get their kids back. Our home will be much quieter and there won’t be so many fights, but I’m sure I’ll be able to manage. The winter months are getting really annoying with the commute. Utah drivers always seem to forget how to drive in the snow for the first few snow falls. Last year during one drive to work I passed a luxury car (BMW I think) that couldn’t drive up a slight incline. It’s little things like that car getting stuck that bring smiles to my face. My little Corolla can make a drive that the overly expensive car can’t do. That’s probably just a biased from me, I can’t stand luxury cars. Hopefully this next week will give me something better to write about. Until then, bye.