4 Months of Kids – Make It Stop!

My girls and the foster boysI think we’ve had the kids for about three months now. I can’t be certain since time stopped the moment we got them. We’ve picked up some foster kids with the plan that we would have them for about 6 months. We’re 4 months into it now. Natalie and I can only hope the parents are doing what they should to get the kids back. We can’t be certain that’s the case, but I’m not here to talk about the parents. We added 2 three year old boys (yes they are twins. I hope you would have figured that out based on them both being 3) and 1 other boy who is 7. Until 4 months ago I only had 2 girls so I wasn’t really sure what I was getting into with the boys. What I’ve learned about boys is simple: boys are liars. At least these boys are, and they’re bad at it. They’re bad to a point that it’s funny to me now. Unfortunately they think they’re getting away with it so after I get my laughs from it I have to let them know the real facts. Even when you catch them in the act with their hand in the candy bag they will lie about it. The older boy says to my wife as he’s stealing some candy “I found these in the couch and I was putting them back”.

I remember being young. I remember walking to school in blizzards by myself. I remember being responsible for my own things even at a very young age. I’m not sure these kids were ever taught anything about respect or the need to follow rules without the threat of punishment. I’m also not sure why God intends them to be in our care. I can only hope we’re doing what we’re supposed to.

The foster program gives a monthly allowance to take the kids. The allowance doesn’t cover the damage that the kids do to the place. They use my car as a balancing post for their bikes. I now have racing stripes scratched into the side of my car. The fruit snack companies send us ‘thank you’ cards now. They push, they fight, they lie, they cry, they hurt each other and 5 seconds later they’re all playing like nothing happened. There is some magic to the idea of ‘being like a child’. The older boy (Gabe) comes in yesterday and states that the neighbor boy (who he seems to be best friends with) was swinging his scooter around trying to hit him (he wasn’t – I watched the scenario) and says to Gabe that ‘if he wanted to hit him he would’. Gabe tells me that he’s never going to talk with him again. 30 minutes later I tell Gabe that we’re going to go to the store. He gets up and says that he’s going to see if he can play with the accused boy while we’re gone rather than go with us. Gabe’s idea of ‘never’ is far different than mine.

I believe the boys and us have a good relationship. I get after the kids and they get in trouble and, just like with their friends, we’re friends again in a few minutes. It’s important to not hold grudges against the kids; it’s equally important to keep in mind the personalities of the kids. One of the twins is developing slightly slow than the other. He’s by far the cutest kid and he behaves the best. He’s also got the OCD pretty bad. If his shoes come untied he needs to stop everything until it’s fixed, whereas the rest of the kids will just kick off their shoes if they hadn’t already. We’ve managed to get him to stop washing his hands every 5 minutes when he’s at the table. His brother is a bit bigger and rougher. He likes to play outside (thankfully) and ride his bike around. He’s not gotten to the stage where he likes to destroy things, but he still likes to ride his bike through the flowers. The older boy is a pain. He can’t sit still unless Sponge Bob Square Pants is playing. He feels he needs to be the boss of his brothers and he’s taken that role further to be the boss of my girls as well. I’ve asked him to let Natalie and I handle the discipline but he still yells at the kids and rats them out whenever he can. Sadly, he’s the one that causes the most problems.

I’ve also had some new thoughts concerning my job over the past few weeks. For one thing I’ve discovered mediation. A customer tried to sue us a few months ago (they lost) and before we met with the judge we went in with a mediator to talk about the situation. Mediation looks like a fun thing to do. I’ve also become interested in learning everything else about websites. The programming is great, but there is so much more to websites than simply making a good website. If nobody ever see’s the site than it’s pretty worthless. I want to be the person that can bring everything together for a site including the design, programming and get it into the web.  That’s enough about me for now.