Automation: The Most Annoying NON-Necessity That We All Need

2 Nephi 5:17 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did cause my people to be industrious, and to labor with their hands.

The topic for this post is inspired by my minivan! My van has powered doors and a powered drivers seat and powered windows. Why would I hate this stuff? This is stuff that people pay MORE for! I hate it all. I’ll start with the powered doors.

  • The doors take about 4 seconds to open on their own. That’s about 3.5 seconds longer than when I do it myself. Why does 3.5 seconds matter? Ask yourself that the next time you’re at a stop light and the light turns green and the guy in front of you hasn’t moved within 2 seconds.
  • Next, because they’re automatic my girls can open them with the push of a button. They can also close them with that same button whether they are out of the way or not! The doors do have a safety on them just for that reason, but that’s another automated thing and I don’t trust it.
  • Being automated means they will break and it will cost a lot to fix. Manual powered doors got no parts to break.

Ok, I could make lists of everything that I hate but that list would be never ending. Lets try anyway:

  • Wasting water
  • Dogs off leashes that jump on me when I’m jogging
  • Forks touching the plate (the two should never touch!)
  • Bringing leftovers home just to throw them away the next day
  • Spiders
  • U2 (the band)

<stay focused!!! />

I guess my real problem isn’t simply automation. It’s the act of removing those little things in life that cause us to live. Opening a stupid door isn’t that big of a deal, but it is  something that I can handle on my own. I can also open my own window and I don’t find it any more convenient to use the button. In fact, every time I use automatic windows I can’t help but think how the motor is just that much closer to failing. The powered seat is even more annoying! It takes about 10 seconds to move the seat from being pushed forward to where I need it. If it was manual it would be .5 seconds (the same as the doors, if you were paying attention). That additional 9.5 seconds is enough to cause me to not even want to drive the van, so I rarely do.

I think I’ve gone on about the van enough already. Automation is good as long as it’s not taking place of those things that humans should do. If we’re going up a few floors in a building we should take the stairs rather than the elevator but instead we laugh at those that take the stairs. If we’re moving our piano to our neighbors we should get a few guys from the neighborhood and all move the thing together rather than hiring some company to do it for us. I should start doing my own oil changes again. I’m sure there’s stuff that I do that you all would call me a hypocrite for. Shut up. I’m working on it OK?